that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
