dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
