I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
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