quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
