absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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