Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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