I'd wear matching sweaters with you
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
