Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Randomize
