She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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