Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Randomize