Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I want to have your abortion
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
