We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
