Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
