We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
We just shotgunned beers for America
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
