I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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