Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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