Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
