eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Randomize
