it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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