So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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