hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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