is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
