You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
