I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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