I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
