now i know why i became what i already was.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
