It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
