how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I need moral support for this bender
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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