Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
