i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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