just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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