I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
