yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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