then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
They should really pass out barf bags in church
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Randomize
