i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
