I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
My feet surprised me
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
