ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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