No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
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