FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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