Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
There's even glitter on my cock...
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