I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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