I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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