Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Randomize
