She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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