dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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