I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
