Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
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