I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
