flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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