I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
